is totally amazing. 
Incredible.
I'm so scared. But I love it.

It's just that fact that he wants to be there that I appreciate. I like. And the feeling that he's gonna be there when I text him. Or when I want him to hang out.

The scary part is the part where we are just more than friends. 
The times when we flirt.
The times when it's just us and we are just talking.
And he's just there.


AHHHHHHH!

I love this. 
But I have to stop getting my hopes up.
And I have to stop making my heart flutter.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

: )  : )  : )

last week was just BAD! let's just start at Colton's.

I went to Colton's with my friends Kemper, Jennifer, Jamie and Heather. (Heather works there, but she was off and decided to eat with us.) Well, we're all chillin. And then I see him...a tall bus-boy with shoulder length hair. You all know me. You all know how I feel about that.
Well, I just decided to stalk him with my eyes and not say anything. Well, Jennifer dared me to tell him I thought he was cute. I so wasn't going to do it....I wasn't....but he just HAD to come to a table close to us and clean it. Well, Jamie decided to call him over. She asked what his name was. It was Matt. And then, smart me hid and the idiot loser Lauren came out:

Me: "Matt, I just want you to know that I think you are absolutely beautiful."
Matt: "Um.....well....thanks..." *long, long pause.*...."you are gorgeous, too..."
Me: "Thank you."
Matt: "....But I have a girlfriend..."

He started walking away after he said that. And I don't know what the look was, but according to Kemper, I gave him a terrible, horrible death stare that could have burn a hole through his back. And I just had to have the last word in the conversation:

"Oh, well. It happens."

Yes. I said "It happens" like he just happened to get a cold or something. My friends had and are still having a field day with that phrase.

But that night wasn't done yet. We need to go to Wal-Mart after we ate for school supplies and crap.
And I need to get some personal girls things...whatever.
We were in the store for about an hour.
We are walking to the cash register and I'm walking next to Kemper. I get up next to the basket which Jen is pushing and some random black guy walks up and whispers something to Kemper. (Maybe I should point out that Kemper is a guy. Derek Kemper.) Kemper looks at me and like runs to Jamie. And Jamie grabs my arm and turns my back so that it's facing the shelves at the register. She tells me that...well...i'm bleeding profusely...you know where. it was BAD! 

But Kemper is such as awesome guy. He didn't even let it phase him. We hung out at Jen's apartment after the Wal-Mart incident and after I got cleaned up. He is such a wonderful guy. So many other guys would have freaked out or been embarrassed by me, but by the end of the night, we were making jokes about it.

It was just so bad because that's something that happens to a 14 yr old girl. Not a 19 year old.
But whatever.

I couldn't ask for a better guy friend.

Oh, wait. I have two.
The other is David Owens.

I was taking a shower at Monika's apartment because the shower on my side of the dorm was messed up. I had to wash my hair because I'd gone swimming the night before so I was in the shower for a super long time. Well, I got out of the shower, fixed my hair and went to put my clothes on. I totally had my underwear on and stuff. But I'm in the middle of Monika's room, pulling the shirt over my head and...in walks David. 
It was really funny because at first, we just kinda stared at each other awkwardly. Then he finally said he just wanted to make sure I was ok, because he knows I don't take hour long showers. We actually stood there and talked for a while and then he was like, "I'm gonna go now because you don't have any pants on."

Totally embarrasing but it really ok because the Wesley guys and me are like brother and sister status....as far as I know. Well, that goes for David, Kemper and Matthew. As for Christopher...ehhh, not so much. Not quite yet. But we're getting there. 

I'm so excited about rockin awesome guy friends that you can talk to about anything and not worry what they think. Annd guys that you don't have to worry about what they think of you. I don't have to impress them and that makes me so happy. And it made me come to the realization that Harding boys are little girls. Yeah.

i'm leaving for jonesboro at like 10:30 this morning. i haven't pack anything.
gosh. im tired. i don't want to drive there. i wish i could magical levitate there. but i know once i get there, i'll be glad.

yay for nice new boys. i got to talk to cody and jansen, london. very nice boys. and i got made fun of because i used to like michael jackson when i was little. i was at cameron's house until 12:45. fun times.

rachel and i saw a dude that looked just like uncle jesse today. he was really cute. we were both very flirty. she totally tried to claim him, but i totally saw him first. (why we fight over people we don't know is beyond me.) he was yummy.

um, i have to drive to jonesboro in the morning. you guys might not hear from me for a week.
you should be so lucky.

kbye.

"Carpe deez nuts. God, I can't wait to quit this job."
Dane Cook. Geez louise.

Guys love my sister.

I totally totally totally got the bad genes.

Lazy.

A fatty trapped in a...well, you know.

I'm scared to breathe with the window down. I don't know why.

I think about Helen Knight everytime I pass Desoto Athletic Club. I should really probably be thinking of Kathleen. But for some really Helen comes first. I'd love to be her friend. She was just born cool. She was cool when I knew her back at Harding.

I pretty much proposed to Brandon Davis today...and we are know how that one turned out.

Victim.

Crybaby.

I really thought I wanted David to like me. Turns out, I don't. If we ever dated, we would fight like crazy everyday. That's what we Scorpios do to each other. We pretty much always end up hating each other at some time in our life.

That explains Andrew....

Jaded.

...and you know it...

p.s. if you don't like Mike Rowe. Bite it. Just do.

p.s.s. Live Earth is/was amazing...

which leads me to...

George Bush Sucks. Politics Suck.

It's final. Everyone is out to hurt me. (Minus you, London.)

Waiting is THE funniest movie I've seen in forever.
Ryan Reynolds is pretty much the hottest jack*ss ever.
Yeah.
And Justin Long. He's a hottie, too. But he's like the number 3 hottie.
The number 2 hottie is Dane Cook. Yeah, yeah.

And Monika just called me in a rage. Call it a "roid rage." (you know who that one's for!)
Apparently, she was supposed to call the parents when she got done with work. (She was in Kennett, MO brodcasting from a club there.)
Ok, so its like 1:30 in the morning. My parents are dead asleep. And she knows they are. And she knew they would be. But like always, she takes her anger out on me. But I didn't tell her to call me. 
Screw it.

Why isn't the friggin Advil PM kicking in?
Oh, wait. The room's spinning.
Gotta go.

i'm so incredibly sad.

they're saying double murder-suicide. By the way, it was him, his wife and his son found dead. 
yeah, you probably have no idea who he even is.
i'm a wrestling dork. sue me.

john cena almost cried. i almost died. it is so sad. vince mcmahon, jerry lawler, JR, JBL, Tazz and michael were all crying.

i don't even know this guy and i'm grieveing immensely. i just wonder how the wrestlers feel.

sad days.

i'm pretty much in love with a waiter at Huey's.

He winked. And touched (my shoulder...three times.) And called me "'puddin.'"

And he asked me to come back and visit him.

i most definitely will.

Dave hugged Kate over, and she made room for him on the bench. She smiled at his slight sunburn and feathered her hand through his hair. "Is the day everything you expected?"
He slowly leaned in against her, invading her space, before kissing her, taking his time to purposefully drive her crazy. "Pretty much." he grinned. "What's the blush for?"
"My family is watching." And you've been driving me crazy the last few days.

I just finished the best book EVER! I totally fell in love it it. And now, it's over. Suck.
(It's too much like my life.)

I want someone like Dave. He loved Kate. and he loved God. What kind of girl wouldn't want a man like that? He put up with her and eventually they fell in love. I CAN'T WAIT TO DO THAT!

I can't wait love and to be loved. It's gonna ROCK!